Conservatives in D.C. Are Sad Because They Can’t Get Dates
By ABC-TV [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Pity the single Republican in D.C. Not only do many of them have to work for a man who starts trade (though hopefully not nuclear) wars because he didn’t get enough sleep, but as a few GOPers anonymously complained to the Washingtonian, they can’t get a date, especially not across party lines. It turns out that as the opportunities for bipartisanship decline in Congress, so do the chances of millennial dating.
Conservatives appear to be bearing the brunt of this social sorting—or, at least, complaining about it the most. Contrary to rumors about “coastal elites” and their “bubbles,” it turns out the so-called snowflakes are better at dealing with the idea that one can be a Republican and not a Trump supporter. As reporter Mimi Montgomery explains, “While Republicans say the line between textbook conservatism and Trumpism is blurred frequently, most Democrats I spoke with say they can distinguish a difference between those in favor of the administration and Never Trump-ers.”
“A lot of times you’ll connect with someone [on an app] and they’ll Google you, find out you worked for Trump’s campaign, and then it’s pretty much all downhill from there,” an anonymous Trump administration official told Montgomery. For those working in conservative media, “the political divide has gotten so wide that a lot of younger liberals don’t have any interest in meeting conservatives,” an anonymous journalist told Montgomery. He doesn’t even list his employer on dating app profiles, and won’t mention it until he meets potential paramours in person.
A co-worker explained, “The policies and these things that are attached to the right whether or not you’re a supporter of Trump have been pre-supposed on you, and it’s like a black mark.” Yet another anonymous snowflake complained of potential dates, “I feel like they look at me and are like, here’s a tall white dude with brown hair wearing loafers, and he probably has a picture of Reagan and the NRA in his bedroom or something.”
Another White House staffer said, without a shred of self-awareness, that she “typically looks for someone from the South” while swiping through profiles, as she thinks they’ll be more receptive to her support of the president. She swipes left on anyone who went to a small liberal-arts college or has a photo of themselves “wearing one of those pink hats on their heads” at the Women’s March, she says.
It’s almost as if they’re facing backlash for supporting an administration that believes white supremacists might be “very fine people.” Perhaps potential dates care less about the Reagan posters than about their personal safety? Between picking outfits, polishing jokes and generally trying to make yourself not look like a garbage monster, there’s really no room left for wondering whether your date might cause you bodily harm.
Splinter reporter Isha Aran sums it up best: “You know when someone who played a part in a campaign that was rooted in white supremacy and the rantings of a self-confessed sexual assaulter can’t get a date, the system is truly rigged!”